Idiot Filter

Todays post has been inspired by Nee Naw

The G.P. surgery I use has improved massively since the introduction of Dr Idiot Filter.

It works like this:

Patient calls and wants same day appointment. Reception takes the patients number and Dr I.F. calls back, taking a history of the current complaint while reviewing the notes on screen. Dr I.F. then decides whether the patient needs an appointment that morning.

Despite this slowing things down a touch (Dr I.F. is a slow and considered one-finger typist), it's done wonders for the surgery. I've got a chronic condition, so I do sometimes need a short notice appointment. In the two or three times I've been in this year, the waiting room has been magically free of rattling addicts coming for replacement methadone prescriptions because they've 'lost' their last one.

In addition, although the phone line is still busy, it's not uncommon to be able to get through to book an appointment these days.

Nee Naw, it's a shame you and your colleagues aren't allowed an Idiot Filter.

A Polite Conversation

I arrive at the GP's surgery. It is quiet. And I mean quiet - there are two other people there. The receptionist is new. She isn't chewing gum in a slack jawed manner and wearing a tabard, but you get my point.

Me: Hello, I've come to pick up a repeat prescription and a sick note
Her: .................................
I notice her jaw slacken sightly. Does this mean she has heard me? As her eyes don't focus, I have another go.
Me: I've come to collect a repeat prescription and a sign off?
Her: Oh.
Very Long Pause
Her: So have you got one then? They take 48 hours you know.You can't just have one you know.
Me: Yes, I know. I rang up and ordered both on Tuesday. Today is Thursday.
The expression on her face leads me to suspect that the fact that today is Thursday is news to her.
Another V.L.P
Me: Would you like my name then?
Her:Er...............yeah
I give my name.A third V.L.P. She doesn't move. I can see the box with my repeat prescription and sign off. It is, at best guess, 12 cms from her left hand.She won't even need to stand up. I smile and nod encouragingly. Perhaps she thinks I am 'a wierdo'.After all, I am not wearing any gold, I am over thirty and do not have any children with me. I have all my teeth and no tattoos. I haven't sworn at her. I am not grey and shaking and demanding my 'script'.
A further V.L.P. She turns her back on me.
Her: Well, I'll have to look for it. Sighs. You'll have to wait.Sighs.Would you like to take a seat (this was not a request).
Now, this could have gone a number of ways, save for the floor to ceiling bulletproof screen and the fact I'm in quite a good mood.
Me: No, thank you. I would like you to look for my repeat prescription and my sick note and give it to me, now, please.
Her:.....................
The jaw slackens yet further in what I can best decribe as shock. Some doctors' receptionists' think they are on a par to God. I, however,think not.
After further heavy sighing, she drags herself along on her wheeled chair.And gets the repeat prescription and sick note. And hands them to me. Very slowly. The last person I saw moving that slowly was an in-paient on a zimmer frame.
Me. Thank you.
Her ...............sigh.

Some years ago, I had cause to go through a formal complaints procedure with my surgery. The were several problems, but the B12 was the last straw. I need weekly shot of B12. The surgery don't keep it.Methadone yes, vitamins....no.
I was told I'd need to make an appointment to be prescribed it. I would then need to collect the prescription, store it at home and make a second appointment to have it administered. Two appointments that would a) not be available to people who needed them and b) because of the distance I live from work, mean 6 hours off a week.
I was not a happy kipper.Things were eventually resolved, and I'd noticed a massive improvement in the surgery in the last 18 months. They've employed some additional GP's, who are excellent, and the appointments system has been over hauled.The phone lines open earlier, and there are a lot more clinics and longer opening hours. Trying to be fair and even handed, I was going to write to them. After all, I'd complained, so shouldn't I also give credit?

Then it took me 10 minutes to get a piece of paper to travel less than a foot.